Pleasure, Play & Purpose

Let me tell you about the time when a few of my passions coalesced in a powerful way...

In July of 2023 I helped to host over 40 breast cancer survivors in my hometown with an amazing organization called Flat Retreat Community, who had been offering retreats for women who have gone flat after mastectomy. These events are a place of respite, community, and connection for women, many who have never spent time with (or hugged!) another flat woman. We enjoyed yoga and reiki together, had a photo shoot with Charise Isis of The Grace Project, took a boat ride on the Hudson River, went swimming, had a flat fashion show, made TikToks, laughed, ate delicious food donated from area restaurants, cried together, and made lifelong friends.

During the weekend, I had the opportunity to lead a guided meditation and give a talk called, "Tune in & Turn on". In this workshop we explored our relationships with our bodies, and the idea that the degree to which you befriend yourself and show yourself loving kindness, correlates to the amount of pleasure and turn on you can experience. I listened to women share their desires, and watched how they supported and encouraged each other. We explored ways to cultivate desire, starting with the important practice of prioritizing pleasure, and doing the important work of "pleasure research". This was the culmination of my coaching practice, and the pleasure based inspiration I gained from working with Mama Gena before the Covid19 pandemic turned all our lives sideways. Following this event, I joined my Flat Retreat community friends for Flat Retreat San Francisco in October and we walked across the Golden Gate Bridge for International Flat Day, October 7, 2023.

In this next chapter of my pleasure, play and purpose based mission, I'm helping to address a very real problem that so many of us struggle with after natural or chemo induced menopause. Meet Upstate Mary! My dear friend Michelle approached me in November 2022 with an idea to produce CBD infused intimacy oils and suppositories. I knew how CBD helped me when I took it orally, but used vaginally?? Hmm... Then came the fun R&D part of the work. Back home with our husbands, we tried multiple rounds of product, gauging things like slide and glide, smell, taste, and most importantly how these products helped reduce pain and increase arousal. We also did due diligence to try all the competitor oils we could get our hands on. At the end of the day, we've got some products that we know will spark a juicy cascade of orgasmic pleasure across the world!

We officially launched in November 2023, and since then our organic, full-spectrum CBD infused intimacy oils and melts have helped so many individuals and couples reconnect and experience new heights! (Partner is optional, pleasure is not!) You can follow us on Instagram, and learn more at UpstateMary.com. We have a fantastic blog there you can check out called Between the Sheets.