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Adult Growing Pains

Do you sometimes feel like things aren't happening fast enough? Or maybe you wonder, is all your effort worth it? Is this even working?

It is easy to notice when life is thrilling. When everything seems to be clicking together, the steam is building behind your vision, and your plans are accelerating! On the flip side of that, we also feel hyperaware when we are struggling, when the plan is simply not coming together. At the extreme end of that, you might feel like a failure and be tempted to give up. This is the anguish of adult growing pains!

Think about these two different states as a rubber band stretching and contracting, being expanded and pulling inward. What might be harder to perceive is when you are at neither extremes, but somewhere in the middle—the slack potential of the relaxed rubberband!

Noticing and being with this in-between space can feel strange if you are accustomed to dancing with the extremes. If you find yourself here, you might start to wonder where you are. Is this project or plan going to ever come together?

Whether your current focus is on personal health, career advancement, finding meaningful relationship or something else, there are ways to redesign your goals so you can measure for success. How else can we sense momentum if we don't have a way to track where we are and where we are headed?!

These tips are also extremely useful if you have hit a rough patch. Perhaps you have had some recent health issues or family conflict. Follow theses tips to help refocus your goals and get back on track:

Fill out that vision. Where are you headed? What is the ultimate result you would like to get? There are many inroads, from journaling to vision boards or hiring a coach to help gain that clarity.

Notice where you are. This includes taking in where you have come from, so you can sense how far you have come already. Where were you last year at this time? Where would you like to be one year from now?

What will it take to get there? Are your goals SMART? Smart goals are defined as:

  • Specific (simple, sensible, significant).

  • Measurable (meaningful, motivating).

  • Achievable (agreed, attainable).

  • Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based).

  • Time bound (time-based, time limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive).

This worksheet is really helpful to ensure your goals are SMART and to set meaningful and attainable actions towards your goals.

Celebrate your successes and your failures. Yes, I said failures! Every stumble is an opportunity to learn and course correct. Celebrate your small successes too. Look back at the end of each day and remember those small actions that you took, the way you followed through and honored your commitments.

Anchor in your vision. Find something or create something that reminds you of the big picture dream, and where you are headed. This could be a picture, an affirmation, a quote, a vision board or something else. Use this structure to remind and refocus you, and to reignite your vision!

If you've hit a rough patch or are struggling with some adult growing pains, coaching can help. I'm here to help you find a path through the pain and build a road map towards your dream come true! Let me know how I can support you.

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