There are 3 key reasons New Year's resolutions don't last. With a few minor revisions, you can make your resolutions stick and see some results this year!
How NOT to fail at resolutions or goals? Well a cynical person might suggest to not make any resolutions to begin with, but let's not throw the baby out with the bath water!
People make New Year's resolutions for all sorts of reasons. The start of a new year is a time when many people vow to work towards self improvement and establishing better habits. Some people promise to get back to the gym and resume healthier eating after indulging around the holidays. This is a time when some people quit smoking, tackle projects around the home, begin to chip away at debt, or make moves to advance in their careers. But too often New Year's resolutions begin to lose steam, and by the end of January, the resolutions are left on the pile of abandoned ideas and good intentions.
Here are the 3 main reasons why resolutions don't stick and what you can do differently:
1. Resolutions are unrealistic or too vague.
People can only move from the place where they are. Let's imagine you want to get in shape go back to the gym, but you haven't been in a while. Setting the bar too high and throwing yourself into a 60 minute cycling class could result in an injury. Start moving towards your goal in ways that will set you up for success. What is a realistic and attainable goal you can set that would move you closer towards fitness? Get moving in that direction and you can work your way up to the high intensity workouts.
Don't be too vague about your plan either. If you have a resolution to "eat healthier," get clear on what that actually means. What will you allow yourself to eat, and what will you avoid? What are you willing to do and for how long? What is your end goal? When would you like to achieve that result by? Consider what can you adhere too vs. what would be too punitive and discouraging.
2. Lack of motivation
You might have a great resolution on paper, but you are failing right out of the gate if it's for the wrong reason. You have to truly, honestly and sincerely WANT it for yourself in order to see results. If there are any "Shoulds" attached, then you're wasting a lot of energy trying to fool yourself. Is this something your parents wanted for you, or your partner or friends want for you? Is this something that looks like it's gaining a lot of popularity on social media, and you find yourself doing a lot of comparing? Before you get started, put your resolution through this test. Complete this sentence:
"I want to______________________because____________________________."
If the later half of that sentence has your energy dipping and feels like a should, then you might want to reconsider how to reframe that resolution or goal so it makes your heart sing and excites you.
3. Too much clutter
By clutter I am referring to any and all things that get in your way. Physical, emotional, mental and social clutter will jam you up and eat away at your precious time. What are you willing to say "no" to so you can start saying "yes" to this new habit, project or way of being? What do you need to clean up so you can set yourself up for success? Want to write a book, or start a morning ritual or find time to go to the gym or read to your kid every night before bed? Want to make time for deepening friendships? What does it take to do these things? Start by looking at where are you giving away your time and energy, and begin to place limits on those things that are not truly feeding your spirit and bringing health, joy and connection to your life.
Thank you for reading along. My wish for you is that you keep dancing your best self forward. Dig deeper, love harder, shine brightly and share are your light with those who need it!
As a thank you, I have a little bonus to get you started on the right foot with your New Year's resolutions (or mid-year goals!). Send me an email here and I'll send you one of my favorite exercises to power up your New Year's resolutions or goals!
P.S. A short video in front of the ol' Christmas tree here!
a firm decision to do or not to do something.
"she kept her resolution not to see Anne any more"
synonyms:intention, resolve, decision, intent, aim, plan; More
the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter.
"the peaceful resolution of all disputes"
synonyms:solution to, answer to, end to, ending to, settlement of, conclusion to
"a satisfactory resolution of the problem"
the process of reducing or separating something into its components.
the smallest interval measurable by a scientific (especially optical) instrument; the resolving power.
Take your goals over the top this year with some one on one coaching! I work with people remotely over the phone as well as in person in Kingston, NY. Until January 15th I'm extending a special $100. off 3 coaching sessions. Find out if we're a good fit by writing to me here and telling me a little bit about yourself, or scheduling a complementary half hour session here.