It’s like your feet are cemented in place, but your mind is whirling a million miles per minute. Are you waking up at the middle of the night, still thinking about this opportunity or issue, but still unable to move forward? To understand, let’s take a look at a few key reasons why you might be feeling stuck.
WHY this stuck feeling? How did I get here?
Knowing What You Need to Know
Right now, bring to mind the very thing that has you stuck in your tracks. Do you know what you need to know to make an informed decision? What would you need to find out to feel more clarity? On the other hand, is this a case of too much information? Oftentimes, extra digging around in research is a way to further procrastinate. Too many options or opinions can stall momentum. What do you REALLY need to know to move forward?
What’s the Feeling There?
What’s the emotion underneath? If you root around for the feelings in your body, what do you notice? Is there some anxiety in your clenched jaw? Some anger and resentment in the belly? Some fear in the chest? Was there an original time in your life when you first felt this emotion so strongly? While we learn from the past, and seek to avoid unpleasant things like pain, embarrassment and shame, it can be very limiting to make decisions through the narrow lens of avoiding discomfort. Name that feeling, notice where it lives in the body. Tune in to see what the story is that you’re holding here.
I Have to be Perfect!
Fear of failure, and a constant striving for perfectionism is a sure way of freezing you in your tracks. As a recovering perfectionist, I can tell you that this type of thinking runs deep, and is often tied up in some early beliefs that we need to be a certain way in order to be seen, heard and loved! But the smart, grownup version of you can start to find a new way of looking at mistakes. When we can lighten up on the perfectionism, we are less afraid and more creative. We are less rigid and more playful. New learning and unseen opportunities can crop up! From teabags to post-it notes and penicillin, many wonderful things have come from mistakes!
Black or White Thinking
As you chew on this topic, project or issue that you’re stuck on, it as likely you might be imagining a very black or white outcome. Listen for the absolutes or conditions in your thinking. Like, “It will only work if…” or, “It HAS to be either x or y…” The dichotomous thinker is someone who looks at things as pass or fail, all or nothing. The reality is that there are usually a full range of possibilities between the two extremes that are hard to see or know when you are stuck in black or white thinking.
Just because you think something doesn't make it true, but your thoughts are powerful. Having constant stress puts great wear and tear on the body and nervous system, and some believe that we have the ability to draw experiences towards us based on what we are thinking. Do you notice that you chronically lean towards the fearful and pessimistic side of things? As you imagine an outcome, if it always ends up with a negative result, it might be helpful to seek outside support with a therapist or coach.
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push through Analysis Paralysis!
Melissa Eppard is a certified Life Coach, a creative and entrepreneurial empoweress, and a slayer of sabotage. When her son was only 3 she was diagnosed with an aggressive form of hereditary breast cancer. Now she coaches people through difficult transitions, teaches stress management techniques, and helps people live their best lives at any age or stage. She helps ignite the spark of purposeful living and creative fire in everyone she meets, and lives by the belief that what you nurture will grow! www.MelissaEppardCoaching.com